Rather good or bad, unexpected events will knock at your door, barge it’s way in and force you to play cards at your kitchen table. The cards that you’re given are all that you have, and the path that is taken after those cards are dealt is a one way street.
Unfortunately we have minimal or no control over some of the cards that we are dealt. I read a study the other day that followed a set of twin brothers, from adolescence to adulthood, who’s father committed capital murder. The brothers were identical twins, and astonishingly even shared some of the same gestures.
As time progressed and the twins got older, the researchers observed something peculiar and mystifying. The two brothers grew up taking similar hobbies while attending the same programs and schools, yet they both carried opposite dispositions regarding their activities.
For instance, when they both played football on the same team, one became the captain and a leader, while the other twin had a hard time staying out of fights during the games. The two grew further apart as one prepared for prom while the other twin sat behind bars in a juvenile facility. The pattern between these twins congruently prolonged for years.
The twin that took the most positive route ended up graduating from college, became a lawyer, got married and had three kids. On the other hand, his brother went to prison for life for the same crime as his father, which is capital murder.
The two brothers were interviewed in their mid 30s and were asked both the same question; “what led you to be the person you are today”? Both of the brothers’ explanations were intriguing. Not one person that was involved in this study predicted that they both would have the same answer which was; “of course I would grow up this way, look at who my father was”.
There’s a quote by epictetus that says, it’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters”. The polarity of how the twin brothers perceived the fact that their father was a murderer, proves that the foundation of our discernment lies within our integrity and the perception of our reality.
We are all sailing through life like sailors. The successful sailor realizes that we can’t control the wind, the only thing that we can control is how we adjust the sails.